Recently, I was involved in a conversation with a young lady who became recently single. As is common, she was still in the bitter, hating-of-all-things-cock-related phase of post-breakup mourning, and if you know me you know it was probably not the best time for her to be asking for MY opinion. Here’s a problem that I’ve always had: If you ask me my opinion on something, I will give it to you. I know, I know – that’s a recipe for disaster, especially when talking to a woman, but if nothing else you know I’ll shoot you straight. Yes, your ass DOES look big in those jeans kind of straight.

Yesterday, her facebook status changed to “in a relationship”. Since it was on facebook, I knew it had to be true – and I shot her a text to confirm. Turns out that her man really missed her, and wanted to work things out. Turns out, she doesn’t hate him that much after all, he really doesn’t have a small dick, and he really wasn’t that bad of a guy at all. I’m always amazed at the spiteful shit that comes out of a scorned woman’s mouth. There really are no rules of engagement beyond saying whatever they can to hurt the man. This is also why women get smacked in the mouth a lot.

Here is the official disclaimer: I do NOT in any way, shape, or form support violence towards women. I’ve never hit a girl (unless we were in bed, and she was into that kind of thing – I don’t judge) and think that in general any time a person has to resort to physical violence it is because they are too weak and too stupid to win any other way. Hell, I laugh when people delete me on facebook because God forbid I shared a different opinion than they hold. It’s weak-minded spineless fucks who can’t defend their position rationally, respectfully, and with logic who have to take what is, in my opinion, a cowardly way out.

So Rihanna has been seeing Chris Brown for the past year, and the couple spent their anniversary together. Just to give you a quick recap: Chris Brown beat the shit out of Rihanna to the point where she had to go into hiding for a month or so to recover from her injuries. I bring this up to show an example of a time when it’s pretty fucking apparent that the proverbial grass MUST be greener elsewhere. The fact that people still buy Chris Brown’s albums disgusts me, and if I was a woman I’d be pretty pissed at Rihanna for basically saying, “No, it’s cool – violence against women is no biggie. I forgave him.”

I have no clue how the hell I got off on a tangent about beating up women.

Oh, breaking up. Sometimes you get bored or complacent in a relationship. The problem is that generally speaking the most exciting relationships are the most unstable. No “good” relationship involves your girlfriend being escorted out of a club in handcuffs. No “comfortable” relationship requires bail money, restraining orders, clothes to be thrown on front lawns, trips to the clinic, physical violence, property damage, or a story on the news.

But what about the GOOD side? Is there something better out there? The phrase “settling down” implies that you are settling for something. You have stopped trying for something better. You have decided that in fact, the grass is pretty damn green in your own yard. You can let yourself go. No more P90X – you’ve settled! I get a lot of flak for not being married or having children at this stage in my life. Being a part of a big family where younger siblings are married with kids already will occasionally provide a bit of stress for me. Hey, I don’t really sweat it – I’m happy with where I am.

What about you? This phenomenon is not relegated to relationships. What about your job? Is there a better job out there for you? What about your house? Could you find a better place to live?

It happens to all of us: The fantasy trumps our reality. I know a lot of people (me included) who have screwed up a pretty good thing with the lure of something better out there. It’s easy to fall into it, especially with peer pressure and any kind of validation from friends. Sometimes all it takes is one girlfriend going “Oh yeah, he’s kind of a douche sometimes” for you to rethink your entire relationship. Sometimes one guy saying “Yeah man, you can find a better gig out there” is all it takes to cast just enough doubt to make you quit.

Sometimes, the grass isn’t really greener on the other side.

Take a minute and think about a relationship you have. Is the biggest fight that you have with your man that he leave the toilet seat up? If you are breaking up over stuff like that – you are assholes.

To be successful in life, it is important to recognize a good thing when it is in front of you. A good person, job, relationship, opportunity – don’t take them for granted. Who knows? It may just be your best shot.