I’m going to start this off with a bold statement: If you are the type of guy who proposes to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day you should kill yourself.

And now… We are off and running.

I Actually Think Jay-Z has one...

I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day. I’m actually quite the hopeless romantic when I want to be, but I’m also pretty non-confirmist. I’m not the kind of sheep that goes out and drops money on flowers, jewelry, and candy just because the Hallmark Society tells me that I HAVE to. I’m going to be a BAD BOYFRIEND if I don’t, and quite frankly I might not even care if my significant other dies in a flaming car wreck unless I demonstrate my love with overpriced roses on this one designated day.

Listen: If you are going to spend a lot of money on gifts for a girl in the hopes of getting laid, you are probably better off just going out and getting a hooker. You’ve got a sure thing, and you don’t have to sit through a boring dinner to get what you really want. You certainly don’t have to hang around after and pretend to care about her feelings.

Here’s the thing – If you want to buy your girlfriend flowers to show her that you love her, I think that’s really sweet and I totally support that. What I don’t support is feeling obligated to do so because greeting card companies and florists are shaking down men all over the country. You don’t need a special day to show somebody that you love them.

I’ll even write it again in an effort to offset all of the “go get a hooker” talk earlier: You do not need a special, predetermined, manufactured “day” to show somebody that you love them.

So if your man is the unoriginal type to pop the question on Valentine’s Day, or you are about to sit in a restaurant waiting over an hour for a table because you HAVE to go out to eat tonight… That’s fine. Some of us like to think for ourselves. Some of us don’t need Hallmark to tell us how to love our women, or when. Some of us manage to be good to our girls on 364 other days of the year.

And if you are alone today, don’t lash out at your attached friends. Remember – Nobody wants to be with you any other day of the year, either.