“A man needs a wife, a mistress, and a maid. The trick is finding one woman who can be all three” – Spiffy Sean Styles
I had the weekend off from shows because my guitar player got married (And congrats Kenny) so I tried to be a “normal” guy. I failed miserably. My problem is that my “work” persona has consumed my public life to the point where I feel social anxiety and general uncomfortableness when I’m at a bar or club and I’m not performing. It’s kind of a sad side-effect of success. I don’t think my business would be doing so well if I wasn’t so focused on things, and being a “normal” guy at a bar just hasn’t appealed to me. It’s a lot of different things, but it just feels like WORK when I’m at a place where my band plays. I’m just not used to it anymore. I’m not used to not being on stage. I’m not used to having to actually pay for drinks. I’m not used to approaching people who don’t know me as the guy performing.
I don’t know if I feel bad about all of this. Honestly, I stared Walk of Shame because after I graduated from college and left my Fraternity I was worried that I’d end up like Brian Wilson and never leave my house again. The band offered me an outlet to get out of the house, have a bit of fun and ended up being a pretty successful thing.
I do great in one-on-one settings, where I feel completely “off the clock” and I can be myself. the problem is I generally don’t put myself out there anymore. In reference to the above quote: Girls who get upset over that can calm the fuck right down. Girls who lash out over a quote like that don’t GET IT, and probably never will. I posted that on Facebook and heard “Oh, I bet you are single” as if having a rational position about men needing/wanting women to be multi-dimensional somehow points to me being a misogynist.
Ladies here’s a hint: You know how to identify the guys who aren’t looking? We are the ones who aren’t kissing your ass anymore. You want to find the single guys? Look on your attention-whore riddled Facebook for who is commenting on your latest duckface picture with your tits hanging out. Read who is commenting when you make some bullshit post like, “It’s cold I wish I had a good man to cuddle with” – THOSE guys are single. THOSE guys are looking – Not the guy who is honest and doesn’t give a shit about catering to your ego, saying what they are SUPPOSED to say, and doesn’t care about impressing you.
No, I didn’t notice your new shoes.
No, I don’t give a shit about your new purse.
No, I could care less that you got your hair done.
You know why? I’m not TRYING.
Maybe that’s why I like girls at my shows. They don’t want to talk to me about their day. They know I don’t care about the new dress they are wearing – They are happy looking and feeling good, and they know that at the bar there are 40 guys who are more than happy to tell them how hot they look.
I’m just not that guy anymore… And I’m starting to be ok with that.
EDIT – Adding this based on the girls on facebook flaming me: