I recently wrote about the evolution of gun laws over at Spiffysean.com and got some interesting responses. Why is it that when gun nuts try to invoke the Second Amendment as the reason they are allowed to have a rocket launcher they almost always forget to include the “Well-regulated militia” part of it?

“Like most rights, the Second Amendment right is not unlimited. It is not a right to keep and carry any weapon whatsoever in any manner whatsoever and for whatever purpose: For example, concealed weapons prohibitions have been upheld under the Amendment or state analogues. The Court’s opinion should not be taken to cast doubt on longstanding prohibitions on the possession of firearms by felons and the mentally ill, or laws forbidding the carrying of firearms in sensitive places such as schools and government buildings, or laws imposing conditions and qualifications on the commercial sale of arms. Miller’s holding that the sorts of weapons protected are those “in common use at the time” finds support in the historical tradition of prohibiting the carrying of dangerous and unusual weapons.”

Some liberal hippie named Justice Scalia wrote this in the 2008 District of Columbia vs. Heller case but hey, what do these so called “Supreme Court” judges know about interpreting the Constitution?

Just look at this progressive douche!

Why are Americans so fixated on old documents that have little to no relevance to modern-day life? The real victim in all of this Second Amendment poppycock? The Third Amendment. Do any of you know what the Third Amendment is without looking it up on Google? When was the last time the Third Amendment was relevant? Go ahead, I’ll wait.

Here are some other awesome things that the Founders believed. If you are going to stand on the Second Amendment as being infallible, don’t be a hypocrite and shun other parts of the Constitution. Of course if you are somebody who follows The Bible, you may already have experience in picking and choosing what parts you’ll decide are Gospel, and which parts don’t need to be adhered to any longer:

Slaves counted as 3/5 of a person. I guess in light of recent gerrymandering and proposed changes by some states to how Electoral College votes are divided, we really haven’t made as much progress as we had hoped.

– Only rich, white males over 21 could vote.

– Blacks could not vote until the Fifteenth Amendment was ratified… After a war… In 1870.

– Women could not vote until the Nineteenth Amendment was ratified… a mere 130 years after the Bill of Rights was adopted, in 1920.

– Black people STILL were having a tough time voting in 1960, which necessitated the 24th Amendment.

The point is: If your only real defense against having an AR-15 is “Because 200 years ago a bunch of guys decided that since all able-bodied men were part of the Militia, that means we get any weapons we want to defend our homes.” you are making a terrible argument. You might as well tell me you believe black people only count as 3/5th of a person.

If you’d like to discuss this further, I’d love to meet up for dinner. We can’t have shrimp cocktail though because according to the Bible, we’d go straight to hell.

Stupid facts and statistics messing up all this good paranoia.

Sean Kemmerer is a freelance writer, administrator of Politics Without The Crazy Pills, can be followed @Walkofshameband, and knows that writing thought-provoking columns makes him 43 times more likely to slay the ladies.