Are you sick of God being taken out of our schools? Do you think that tragedies like the Sandy Hook Massacre could have been avoided if we just had some more prayer in our classrooms? Well there is good news, my believer buddies: It turns out that God is in fact everywhere.
Seriously, did you know that God being omnipresent and omnipotent means that he doesn’t have to listen to what lawmakers say? God can even carry his pistol right into the classroom, completely ignoring the “Gun-free zone” sign on the front door. Pretty neat, huh?
Here’s another interesting tidbit: Students are actually allowed to pray in school. What you probably have heard about prayer being “banned” from schools is that there cannot be any required or state-sponsored religious observance in public schools. The Supreme Court has ruled that the government cannot have anything to do with prayer in schools. The government cannot tell students when to pray. The government cannot tell students what to pray. The government cannot tell students that they should pray. The government cannot tell students that prayer is better than no prayer. Since many of you have recently become constitutional scholars in your vigorous defense of the Second Amendment, I’m sure that at some point you may have at least glanced over at the First Amendment, where no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof can be established. Turns out God has a pretty solid PR firm and some amazing lobbyists working on his behalf.
Please understand that I have no issue with teaching Creationism as a tenet of the Bible. If schools want to teach it as an actual scientific theory? Well, to be fair they should then also:
- Teach the Hindu belief of transmigration and rebirth.
- Convey the Islamic theory of creation.
- Explore the Buddhist philosophies of evolution and creation.
- Tell the story of Xenu and how the prophets of Scientology came to inhabit the Earth.
- Two words: Magic underwear.
People are outraged that Muslim students are being allowed to pray if they have good grades and parental permission. In addition, parents are flipping out because a high school in Colorado allowed a multicultural group to recite the Pledge of Allegiance in Arabic over the school intercom. There didn’t seem to be any outrage over the decision when the Pledge was recited in French or Spanish.
Is this current religious culture just the perfect storm of hypocrisy and bigotry in one delicious hate-filled sandwich? Are you guys even TRYING to mask your discrimination against anybody who does not believe the same thing that you do? Need more proof that there is still plenty of praying in schools? Have you ever looked at a classroom of scared 15 year old students right before an exam?
Just be consistent. Understand that if you want religion taught in schools, it can’t just be YOUR religion. If you are against the Muslim students being allowed to have a few minutes to meet and pray, you should also be outraged at the Christian prayer group that meets once a week after school.
But you aren’t, are you?
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–Sean Kemmerer is a freelance writer, administrator of Politics Without The Crazy Pills, can be followed @Walkofshameband, and only prays when he needs the Ravens to cover the spread in the Super Bowl.