You know, I was getting tired of everybody talking about the civil war in Egypt, chemical weapons in Syria, the student-loan/education crisis in America, one political party threatening to shut down the government unless millions of sick children are denied health care and of course, Ben Affleck as the new “Batman.”

Thankfully, the MTV Video Music Awards came along and saved us from having to discuss real issues!

Now, I didn’t watch the VMA’s, because as it turns out – I’m a grown up. However, I was surprised to learn that a television station that neither plays videos or really has anything to do with music anymore gives out awards! If they would have called it the “Want to see everything that is wrong with pop-culture condensed into a three hour broadcast?” I could have at least given them credit for truth in advertising.

Here’s something that I don’t understand about entertainment in 2013: Why would ANYBODY waste 3 hours of their lives watching a terribly scripted, contrived fake-awards show when you can get every bit of pertinent information about it from watching a 15-minute youtube highlight? Great, N-Sync got back together for 30 seconds, and Twitter didn’t explode.

So allow me to help the rest of the 25-40 year olds out there who might have thought that MTV disappeared after the “Puck” season of “The Real World” –

I keep asking “What’s the deal with her tongue?” and I have yet to receive an answer. Yeah, Miley Cyrus is listed in the dictionary right next to Amanda Bynes under “Hot Mess” – But what was so bad about her performance? She actually sang pretty well by MTV standards.

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Sidenote: Robin Thicke looks a lot like Beetlejuice in this picture.

Ok, she’s a terrible dancer, and the outfit that she picked… let’s just say did not accentuate her body:

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.. But was it THAT bad? Was it too raunchy? Anyone remember Lady Gaga showing up as a dude, or dressed in meat, or covered in blood? Was her outfit too slutty? Because you know… No other performer has EVER walked on stage at the VMA’s scantily clad:

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Or was the crime that she just didn’t look that good? As #1 in Maxim’s “Hot 100” we have a higher standard for our modern-day sex symbols, and Miley just didn’t deliver?

Let’s not mention that she was on stage grinding on a guy dressed like an assistant manager at Foot Locker who has the #1 song in the world right now essentially talking about date-rape, the REAL outrage is Miley’s inappropriate use of a foam finger? Miley deserves heat because she’s not as hot as Britney Spears? She’s not as talented as Lady Gaga?

And THIS is what led as the “Top Story” on CNN today. The Onion says it better than I could but the point is: It’s all about ratings, ad buys, web traffic, and money. The front page of CNN.com, the same place that the attacks of 9/11 were posted, in the same position on the page, now sits a picture of a 20-year old girl dancing in her underwear. That’s what you will pay for, America.

Don’t you have an episode of “Keeping up the with Kardashians” to watch?

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Sean Kemmerer is a freelance writer, administrator of Politics Without The Crazy Pills , and has no idea what “Twerking” is.